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Calling all neutrals: Which team should you support?

For about 160 million people, the choice of whom to support in the semi-finals is made for them. But what about the other 7.3 billion around the world – who should they get behind?

Calling all neutrals: Which team should you support?
Calling all neutrals: Which team should you support? ©Getty Images

Supporting style: What do you like as a fan?
A I love flags. And face paint. And am liable to launch into the national anthem at any moment.
B Am partial to a bit of dressing up, singing my heart out and bearing a constant expression of bemused wonderment. What am I doing here?
C Repetition is the mother of skill. I can't really remember more than one song but who cares? It's a catchy one. And I can sing really loud.
D I like to mix it up. A bit of toing and froing with other sections of support and claiming other sides' best songs as my own. Always happy to join in the spirit of things with a patriotic moustache.

Tour de France pedigree: Race favourites or rank outsiders? 
A Am always eager to avoid the favourites' tag; even if secretly I think we are. It's better to be among the contenders but not be marked out.
B Is there a dog beneath the underdog? That's me. But try as it might, the lanterne rouge can't catch me.
C Am always among the tête de la course and though I have a tendency to tail off at the finish, you have to be in it to win it.
D I see things in black and white. Some are satisfied not winning; others are like me. Where's my yellow jersey?

Confidence: What are the chances it will be your side lifting the trophy come 10 July? 
A I hope so. That's been the dream all along. A nation believes.
B [Laughs. For a long time.] Five weeks ago I'd probably have taken a win here. That said, we've got this far so why not?
C Oh, I don't know. I've been hurt before so want to enjoy it while it lasts. We'll see.
D Are you serious? 100%.

So which team are you? 
Mostly As – France; Alles les Bleus!
Mostly Bs – Wales; Together, Stronger!
Mostly Cs – Portugal; Portugal allez!
Moslty Ds – Germany; Auf geht's Deutschland!

Now that's sorted, this is how you sing along ...

Allez Les Bleus!
Come on you Blues!

Qui ne saute pas n'est pas français!
If you're not bouncing, you're not French!

Die Nummer eins der Welt sind wir
The number one in the world are we

As saudades que eu já tinha; Da minha alegre casinha; Tão modesta quanto eu
The longing that I had, my cheerful house, as modest as I am

Hal, Robson. Hal Robson-Kanu! (to the tune of Salt-N-Pepa's Push It)

Give me hope, Joe Allen (to the tune of Eddy Grant's Gimme Hope Jo'Anna)

Ain't nobody, like Joe Ledley, ain't nobody, makes me feel this way (to the theme of Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody)